


This Is Not The End For Us

by cleopatras



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, Found Family, M/M, Nicky has a big heart, Slow Burn, Somewhat Unreliable Narrator, aaron and andrew still hate each other sorry, all content warnings for the series itself apply, the monsters but make it a band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleopatras/pseuds/cleopatras
Summary: In retrospect, a concert in a dingy bar on the edge of town is probably the best place to get stabbed and have it go completely unnoticed. Of course, his father’s men had caught up with him, but Alexander was able to take care of them with only minor damage to himself. Well, their bodies would probably be discovered by the fact that A) They weren’t exactly discreet in the alleyway next to the bar and B) Alexander was pretty sure his blood had dripped all over the crime scene. However, the DNA in that blood belonged to someone who didn’t exist anymore, so that might slow down the police a little bit.The Monsters are an indie rock band on tour. Neil is running from his father. The rest is actually a really funny story actually well you see...Title from Joyriding by Frank Iero
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	1. I'll Clean Up The Blood

In retrospect, a concert in a dingy bar on the edge of town is probably the best place to get stabbed and have it go completely unnoticed. Of course, his father’s men had caught up with him, but Alexander was able to take care of them with only minor damage to himself. Well, their bodies would probably be discovered by the fact that A) They weren’t exactly discreet in the alleyway next to the bar and B) Alexander was pretty sure his blood had dripped all over the crime scene. However, the DNA in that blood belonged to someone who didn’t exist anymore, so that might slow down the police a little bit. 

Clutching his stomach, he pushed through the crowd of people enjoying the simple rock show that seemed to be nearing an end as Neil struggled to get to the bathroom. The bathroom of this bar just about matched the rest of it -- unimpressive and probably possessing multiple health code violations. Judging by the pisswater soaked floor and slurs scratched into the wooden stall doors, it was safe to say no one had checked up on this place in a while. One flickering light kept it lit as Alexander lifted his shirt in the mirror to look at the wound. 

“Shit,” he cursed to himself as he looked over to the paper towel dispenser and pulled out as many as he could, shoving them against the wound as he winced in pain. Judging by the steady flow of blood, nothing life-endangering had been punctured but he was nowhere near safe from bleeding out. That was certainly going to be his biggest problem as he ran one bloody hand over the sink with amazingly shitty water pressure. This wasn’t the worst he had faced since he ran, but it was definitely going to add to his ever-growing collection of scars on his chest and back. He hadn’t been badly injured since the death of his mother, hell, they hadn’t even caught up with him since then. He was just thankful it wasn’t Lola -- he could handle a few nameless thugs. If Lola found him? He wasn’t sure he would make it out alive. 

“Yeah, hold on, I just gotta piss!” Alexander heard a voice from outside yell before the door began to push open. He muttered a curse as he went to hide in one of the stalls, but he slipped on the dirty floor, one half-bloody hand gripping onto the sink to catch himself. By then, it was too late. A young man with tan skin and sweat-soaked curly dark hair walked into the bathroom, his face going from a loose smile to one of worry and fear the second he laid eyes on Alexander. “Holy shit.” 

“Mind your business,” he spat back, wincing as he removed the paper towels from the wound and pulled his shirt down over it, throwing the trash away before brushing past the man. 

The man, however, reached out and placed a hand on Alexander’s shoulder before he could leave, asking, “No, hey, hey, are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“Definitely not,” Alexander answered, wrenching his shoulder free as he pushed through the door. Much to his luck, people were waiting outside. One was a short blond man while the other was taller with dark hair and a face tattoo. Classy. The blond was absentmindedly twirling a drum stick in his fingers as they waited presumably for the man Alexander had just seen. He made the connection once he realized the head-pounding live music from before had ceased. 

“That was qui--oh, you’re not Nicky,” the blond cut himself off as he saw Alexander, “Sorry.”

Alexander paid them no mind until the door opened behind him and the man he had just seen -- Nicky, he assumed, came chasing after him. Well, chasing was a strong word considering Alexander was not the master of speed at the moment as brand new bruises were probably littering about eighty-five-percent of his body right now. Not to mention the stab wound. 

“Hey, hey, wait!” Nicky exclaimed, “Dude, hey, we can help you!” 

“Don’t need it,” Alexander called back as he kept his eyes out for the exit. Finally, he found one with a blinking neon sign that was about two long nights away from dying completely above it labeling the exit. He sighed with relief, pushing through the door and feeling the cold air nip at his exposed skin. 

“Andrew, stop him, please!” the man who for some reason was still coming after Alexander yelled and he wondered what that meant until he met a harsh realization in the form of the same short blond from inside taking a guitar he was in the middle of packing up and placing it right in front of Alexander’s path. Of course, he moved too quickly to stop and he ran right into it. The force wasn’t enough to knock him over alone, but given his feeble state, he stumbled just enough to trip over his own feet and land roughly on his tailbone. Great, another new bruise to add to the collection. 

“What the  _ hell _ do you want?” Alexander shouted as the man caught up to him, the bandmates following behind. It was then he realized the blond that hit him with the guitar was in fact not the same one from inside considering that one was just coming out the backdoor now with the taller one in tow. For a moment, Alexander wondered if this was a setup and they were after him, too. He really regretted leaving his knife in the duffle bag he stashed in the alleyway at this point. If they  _ were _ with his father, he was completely defenseless.

However, the darker-skinned one raised his hands in surrender, “I just wanna help! You look like you’re about to pass out and I saw a lot of blood in there.” 

“Fuck off, I’m fine,” Alexander tried to stand, but he stumbled as he became lightheaded. The man caught him and steadied him and maybe Alexander wasn’t fine, but that was going to be his problem and his alone. 

“Nicky, if he doesn’t want help, let’s just leave. We have to be in Raleigh in the morning, we don’t have time for this,” the tallest one spoke and he was glad for the input in his defense but considering the black dots swimming around his vision he was going to have to get back to his motel room soon to patch himself up or he was at the whims of this weird band. 

However, Nicky wasn’t budging as his eyes met Alexander's, “Hey, just let us help you. Then, we can drop you off at the side of the road for all we care.” 

“Fuck you and your big heart,” the blond who had hit Alexander with the guitar muttered as he went to sit on the back of the open van he hadn’t noticed before, pulling out a cigarette. God, Alexander could go for one of those right now. 

Alexander knew he wasn’t going to get back to his motel. He could barely walk anymore and he was still bleeding steadily, not to mention he was pretty sure his vision was spinning. He wasn’t quite sure, but everything was just enough out of focus for him to be worried. 

He sighed, this was everything he was supposed to avoid when he needed to survive. Relying on the kindness of strangers was just about number one on the list of Don’ts. 

“No. Fucking. Hospitals,” he caved through gritted teeth. He couldn’t believe himself. “And someone grab my-- Actually, I’ll do it.” 

Of course, his bag was stashed near the two men he killed earlier. This is why Alexander couldn’t have nice things. He broke free of the loose grip Nicky had on him to keep him stable before he moved as quickly as he could into the alleyway. He ignored the two corpses that were looking a little pale as he grabbed the bag. He had meant to meet a contact here with a new ID and passport for his current identity but apparently it had been a setup and he was ratted out to his father. That meant another new identity, another city. He grabbed his bag before hobbling back over to the band, clutching his torso. The other blond was still smoking while Nicky was furiously typing into his phone. 

“Oh, good, you didn’t die. There’s a CVS five minutes from here, go ahead and hop in. Andrew will make sure you don’t bleed out in the back,” Nicky explained, helping Alexander into the back of the van much to what looked like Andrew’s annoyance. “What was your name again?”

He struggled to think of something, finally settling on just about the first name that came to mind. “Neil. It’s Neil.” 

“Okay, Neil, let’s patch you up,” Nicky muttered with an exasperated sigh, running his hands through his hair as he went to get into the driver’s seat. 

So that was how  ~~ Alexander  ~~ Neil ended up in the back of some random band’s van on his way to a CVS in the middle of the night. His mother would be so beyond pissed at him right now, but this was better than death even she would be able to admit that. The blond man -- Andrew, he had learned, didn’t say a word during the rough drive (Nicky was a horrible driver, Neil could tell) instead he sat nursing the same cigarette. Going out on a limb, Neil held out a hand. Surprisingly, the quiet man handed it over before pulling out another one for himself. 

Normally, he would just let himself smell the smoke as it burned down to the filter -- an expensive habit of his, but he needed something to take his mind off of the insane amount of pain he was in at the moment so he took a long drag, letting the smoke spill past his lips with ease. 

“So, come here often?” he tried a joke, although he wasn’t sure why. Maybe he just couldn’t bear the silence. The thing he hated about being on his own now was the silence and for the first time in a while, he had the opportunity to speak to other people. Other people who hopefully weren’t as fucked up as he was. 

“Don’t fucking talk to me,” the man spoke through the smoke, his expression unchanged. Neil nodded as he felt the vehicle come to a stop. 

“Andrew, your job was literally to make sure he didn’t bleed out,” the tall one chastised as he opened up the back doors of the van. “Jesus, we should have put Aaron back here.” 

“I wouldn’t have been much better,” the other blond shrugged as he walked past the tall one into the store with Nicky. Aaron, that was three names. The tall one looked familiar, but in this state, Neil couldn’t figure out where from. He would have to worry about that later. 

An uncomfortable silence settled over the three while the tall one tapped his foot impatiently against the asphalt as they waited for the two to return. Thankfully, it wasn’t long. Nicky came out with a plastic bag in his hand, stepping into the back of the van as instruments crowded around them. He went to lift up Neil’s shirt, but he stopped him, allowing it to be pulled up just above the wound before holding it in place. With that, Nicky used a towel they had bought to press against it, using Neil’s hand to hold it in place while he looked for other items. Neil, who really was just surprised he was still conscious at this point, let him work. 

“This is quite possibly the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Andrew spoke, but listening carefully Neil realized it wasn’t English. It was German, they were speaking. Foreign languages were a fun way to tell secrets in front of other people, but the man probably hadn’t counted on Neil knowing German as well. Not to mention French. And a little bit of Russian, but he was working on that one. 

“I wasn’t going to let him bleed out in that disgusting bathroom,” Nicky spat back in the same language, opening up a plastic water bottle and pouring some on another cloth and cleaning up as much as he could while trying to prevent more blood from coming out. It was a tricky process, but it seemed to do the trick as he opened up some sort of antibiotic to clean it. Neil winced at the sting, but otherwise, he didn’t feel much. Maybe that was a bad sign, he didn’t care. He should, but he was getting tired. 

“Drink this,” the tall one said, handing over another water bottle. Neil took it and opened it, happy to comply considering his throat was incredibly dry. 

“We’re dropping him off on the side of the road as soon as he’s no longer bleeding out in our van,” Andrew spoke in German once again, “I’m not cleaning up the blood, later.” 

Nicky sighed, “I’ll clean up the blood, asshole.” 

Neil was content to stay quiet during this exchange, not wanting to give away his secret. The last thing he needed was them asking any more questions. Finally, he watched as Nicky placed a large bandage over the wound, wrapping it with gauze as best he could. 

“I could’ve done it,” Aaron piped up, “I’m the one who studied for medical school.” 

“And now you’re in a shitty indie rock band, so clearly something went wrong there,” Nicky shit back, using the water bottle from earlier to wash the blood off of his hands. Turning to Neil, he asked, “Do you have a place to stay? Anywhere we can drop you off?” 

Neil needed to answer this question. He had already spent too long in a place his father knew about and he needed to check out of his motel and get the hell on the road. However, before he could answer, his vision finally gave out and everything went black as he lost consciousness. Fuck. 


	2. You're Tough To Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil wakes up in a house surrounded by the same four strangers from the night before.

“He’s clearly some sort of liability, it’s too dangerous to keep him with us,” a voice speaking German was the first thing Neil heard when he woke up. The most surprising thing out of all of this was that instead of waking up on the side of the road where he expected some indie rock band would dump him, he was in a bed. A pretty soft bed, at that. 

“We’re supposed to be in Raleigh by now,” the tall one was speaking, still in German. It seemed the person who had spoken first was Andrew. Or Aaron. Neil would be lying if he knew. Well, Andrew had black armbands on still from last night. He thought it was just part of his show outfit, but judging by the fact he was currently wearing black sweatpants and a plain t-shirt and the armbands were still on, Neil figured they were a constant. Keeping his eyes on the tall one, Neil tried to remember where he had seen him before. For some reason, he seemed oddly familiar. 

Feigning innocence, Neil rubbed his eyes and sat up, letting sheets fall off of him, “Huh?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Andrew spoke in a deadpan tone. “Kevin is just complaining that we’re behind schedule.” 

“If you guys have a show it’s fine, I-I have enough money to get myself a motel room somewhere,” Neil argued, still a little groggy from passing out. Losing consciousness was not good for him, it slowed him down and put his life in the hands of four strangers who frankly, were almost all assholes. The only one that was even a little nice wasn’t even in the room. Speaking of rooms, where the hell were they? 

“Nicky insisted on bringing you here since it was closest and cheapest,” Andrew explained, “He already called our manager and the show is postponed. Thanks a lot.” 

“I didn’t ask for any of this. You guys practically kidnapped me,” Neil sighed, his thoughts reeling. After a moment, he realized where he had seen Kevin before. Oh no. “Wait, Kevin, like Kevin Day?” 

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Kevin said with a shrug, speaking English this time. His gaze narrowed and Neil needed to figure out a way to recognize him without it being suspicious when in reality it was incredibly suspicious. 

“Uh, shit, you guys are The Monsters?” Neil asked, pulling the band name out of his ass considering he remembered hearing it through word of mouth a couple of times on the run. There was this one guy Neil had been slightly involved with incredibly briefly on the run that was big in the indie music scene. Thankfully, that paid off. Neil had always wondered what happened to Kevin Day after he dropped off the face of the earth. It seemed playing rock music was the answer. Better than what Neil was up to since they last saw each other. 

Andrew was the one to answer, nodding, and saying, “Yup, that’s us. You don’t look like our typical listener.” 

Neil shrugged, “I dabble. Anyway, where am I? I don’t think anyone answered me on that.” 

“Our house,” a new voice joined, it was Nicky with a mug in his hand, handing it over to Neil, “Here’s some coffee. I didn’t know how you take it so it’s just black.”

“That’s perfect...” Neil drawled, part of him wondering if the coffee was poisoned. Then again, these people had absolutely no reason to hurt him. Still, just taking the mug that was handed to him made the hair on the back of his neck rise up. Everything about this situation seemed dangerous. The coffee was good, though. Still, Neil drank it slowly. He could never be too careful. He wasn’t looking to let his guard down in front of these people, not yet. 

“We’ll let you stay until you’ve healed up a bit, but we need to be on the road by tomorrow night so… heal up,” Kevin spoke, which surprised Neil. “Hey, Nicky, he’s a fan, by the way.”

“I didn’t say that,” he muttered, taking a sip of his coffee, “I can’t remember the last time I even listened to a song of yours.” 

Nicky shrugged, “Anyone who’s heard of us, I consider a fan. Anyway, there are way too many people in this room, I’m starving so I’m gonna make breakfast, the rest of you guys clear out and give Neil some space. He looks like a kicked puppy for Christ’s sake.” 

“I think that’s just his face,” Andrew said to Nicky in German. The other man rolled his eyes but they began to file out of the room. Just as Neil thought he was going to get some alone time, Andrew paused before leaving, closing the door behind him. Great, he was going to kill him. Neil knew it was coming. “You speak German.” 

“I don’t know how you could possibly come to that conclusion,” Neil feigned innocence, quietly sipping his coffee as he moved into a crossed-leg position. This bed was much more comfortable than his motel room. Shame he had to die in it because there was definitely murder in Andrew’s eyes. “I never even graduated high school, the fact you think I speak a foreign language is astounding.” 

“Big word for a dropout,” Andrew said and he couldn’t tell if it was intended to be teasing or not. Either way, he exhaled in a small chuckle. “Most of the time when we speak it around someone that doesn’t know it, their eyes gloss over or they tense up at the sound of another language. You do neither. Sue me for being a little curious. So, German. Yes or no?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why do you speak German?”

“Why do you?” Neil shot back with a smug look on his face.

Andrew just shrugged, “Nicky studied abroad, became fluent. When Aaron and I took it in high school, he helped us. Now you.” 

“Oh, is that how this works?” Neil teased, a twinge of seriousness in his voice as he kept careful eyes on the shifts in Andrew’s expression and body language. “I don’t think that’s how this works. You have a very abrasive personality, did you know that?”

The man scoffed, “Don’t speak too callously or I’ll give you a matching injury to your first one.” 

“Aw, that’d be so cute,” Neil teased, his voice too biting for his own good. The threat led him to believe that Andrew could be armed so he let his eyes trail down the man’s form to see if there were any weapons hidden. Fortunately, it was hard to hide an easily accessible knife in a plain black shirt and equally dark sweatpants. There were those armbands to worry about though and from what Neil had seen, he wouldn’t underestimate the man in front of him. Something about him seemed… off compared to the others. Even Aaron, the literal carbon copy of him, seemed at least a little bit lively whereas Andrew just seemed numb to it all. Curiouser and curiouser, as they say. 

“Stop staring at me, psycho,” the man spoke after a moment, walking over and opening the window slightly before pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He lit one up, his eyes still boring into Neil’s. “Are you going to answer my question?”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Neil said with an easy shrug knowing his mouth was absolutely going to get him in trouble. “Take your chances with a different one.”

“All right, who stabbed you, and why?”

“That’s two,” Neil spat, his expression tense as he pondered over how many truths and lies he could blend together in one answer to make it realistic enough to please the man in front of him. “You get one. It was a nobody, we had a deal and it went south.” 

Andrew scoffed, “A deal? About what? Drugs?”

“I wish,” Neil spoke with ease, trying to portray an air of casualty in order to throw Andrew off his scent. The others seemed to be easy enough when it came to fooling them, but Neil had a feeling this would be a harder game to play. “I think that’s enough questions for me, though. Why’d Nicky bring me in? Is it so you can kill me yourself?”

“I’m not gonna kill you,” the blond admitted, “Yet. Also, if you won’t be honest with me, I won’t be honest with you. One more question: Who are you running from?”

“I’m sorry?” Neil asked, once again feigning innocence as he had for most of this conversation. It was quite a skill of his if he was to toot his own horn. 

Andrew didn’t take this as an answer, pressing on and saying, “You get stabbed in the middle of a club. You scream for no hospitals. You look like a scared little cat ever since you woke up. You hesitated on telling us your own name, for Christ’s sake. Neil doesn’t exist, so who are you, and why are you running?” 

“I’m not telling you shit,” Neil caved with a sneer, dropping the act as he stood from the bed and walked over to Andrew, albeit weakly since he had gotten up so quickly. He was pleased to realize he was still in his clothes from last night meaning no one had really seen what was underneath them. As soon as Neil started to get into Andrew’s personal space, he felt cool metal through his shirt against his skin. Ah, so Neil had been right about the armbands. He stayed where he was. Andrew formed a lazy smile at this as if he had gotten what he wanted out of Neil. The knife was put away and wordlessly, he handed him an unlit cigarette. Neil accepted and instinctively cupped his hand around it as Andrew lit it for him. 

“It’s nice to see you get angry,” Andrew spoke after Neil let out a breath of smoke. “I was starting to think I had it all wrong. You’re tough to break.” 

“You assume you’ve broken me already,” Neil scoffed, “My name is Neil. Neil Josten and that’s all you need to know about me. If you could point me in the direction of my bag, I’ll be happy to be out of your hair and never fucking see you again.” 

“Tsk tsk, so quick to run,” Andrew chastised as he leaned against the windowsill, “You’re like a little rabbit. I think Nicky’s got some carrots in the fridge if you want a little snack for the road. Oh, and you’re not going anywhere.”

The man rolled his eyes at this, taking a step back. “Yes, the fuck I am.”

He shook his head, “No, because you see, I think we can be mutually beneficial to each other. You need a place to run, I have a band that’s on a cross country tour right now. You got attacked here? We can put 3,000 miles between you and whoever’s looking for you.”

Neil had to admit Andrew had a point. Being with a band meant no one would question him, he could move from place to place easily. The only hard part would be maintaining a single identity for that long amount of time. Still, there was something missing. 

“Okay, and what do you get out of that?” 

Andrew offered him a wry smile, “You’re gonna start telling me the truth. Bit by bit until I put the pieces together.”

“Why do you want that? I can offer you more, I’ve got money, whatever you want,” Neil spoke, trying to hide the rising panic in his voice. Andrew didn’t have to know that the truth was exactly what Neil was running from. 

“I like puzzles,” he said with a shrug, but there was a glint in his eyes of something more, “So, “Neil,” yes or no?” 

Neil was interested in staying alive and even he knew there was safety in numbers -- especially when those numbers had no idea what was going on and Neil could play dumb long enough to get them to trust him. The only problem in this equation was going to be the man standing in front of him. Andrew was too curious and Neil was too abrasive and either way one of them was absolutely going to end up dead at the hands of one another. Still, Neil knew what he had to do if he wanted to stay alive and out of the grip of his father. 

“Yes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew: I like puzzles   
> Andrew, internally: You're hot :)
> 
> also take a shot everytime i use the phrase "feigning innocence" in this chapter you'll get alcohol poisoning by the end


	3. Eye for an Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like the Monsters are finally making it to their show in Raleigh with a new groupie. Don't mind the pit stop on the way.

The band was less than thrilled about Neil joining them for the remainder of their tour. Well, that was what Andrew told them and that was what Andrew believed but in reality Neil was planning on getting out of there as soon as he had enough distance from where his father thought he was (which was his current location. Translation: Neil is a sitting duck and it is killing him slowly). Neil had to get out of there fast especially considering the history he had with one of the band members. Thankfully, hair dye and contacts had caused Kevin to be a bit slow to catch onto who Neil really was and where he might know him from, but it was only a matter of time until he realized. Still, Neil supposed he would be set to keep this schtick going as long as he needed to before he could run. 

Unfortunately, the urge to run until his lungs gave out didn’t bode well for the ride to Raleigh that was spent in a cramped van. The twins were small, so it made sense how they got away with everyone fitting in the four seats and then the equipment in the back, however, no one really enjoyed having Neil in the middle seat for hours on end. 

“You guys should get a bus or something,” Neil had muttered, partially as a joke meant to entertain himself. “Or at least take two separate cars, I  _ know _ you have another one.”

“That one’s mine,” Andrew spoke up, both men referring to the black Maserati Neil had seen parked in the driveway as they had packed up and left, “No one touches that one.”

“Andrew is weirdly protective of that stupid car,” Nicky contributed from the drivers’ seat, iced coffee in one hand, and the other on the steering wheel. With Nicky’s reckless driving, he wondered if maybe his father wouldn’t be the end of them -- rather it would be the accident they’ll find themselves in soon at this rate. “All right, rest stop time.”

Kevin sighed, “Thank God, I was about to piss myself.” 

“If you don’t pour whiskey in your morning coffee, that wouldn’t happen,” Andrew commented nonchalantly, but Kevin’s response was to flip him off and mutter a few German curses. “Also, don’t speak anything you don’t want to be heard in German -- Neil speaks it.”

“Andrew, you are insufferable,” Neil retorted as Nicky stopped the van. Immediately, they all fell out and Neil was thankful for the breath of fresh air. He waited for the feeling of suffocation to leave him. It didn’t. He watched as Kevin ran to the bathrooms, turning to sit on a lone picnic bench on a grassy knoll that was patchy at best. Andrew joined him, but no words were spoken between the two of them as the shorter of the two sat on the table and lit up a cigarette. 

They were the only group at the rest stop save for what looked like a stray dog picking through an overflowing trash can -- but there wasn’t another car or human being for miles. If Andrew was going to murder him like Neil was fairly sure he was planning to (after all, he had attempted it already), this sure was the place to do it. It might upset Nicky, though. Well, Neil wasn’t even sure about that. 

“You’re shaking,” Andrew observed, his voice cool and controlled. A small smile contorted his face, but there was an emptiness in his expression Neil latched onto right away. It was manic, a different side of Andrew he had yet to see. 

“You’re high.” It was a guess. An educated one. Most rockstars were on drugs, Neil had seen a plethora of prescription bottles on the kitchen counter as they left that morning. Educated guess. Judging by the way Andrew stiffened, it was a correct one. Being observant was a necessity on the run, but Neil would be lying if he said he didn’t like to have fun with it. Every conversation between him and Andrew was a competition to see who could make each other more uncomfortable and Neil wasn’t about to let him get the upper hand. 

Andrew tsked, taking a long drag before he spoke again. “Watch your words, you don’t want to bite off more than you can chew.” 

“I don’t think two words will do too much,” the dark-haired boy said with a shrug, “unless you’re weaker than I thought. Are you?” 

“Bite your tongue, rabbit, before I cut it off,” Andrew warned in a sing-song voice that was too lighthearted for the threat at hand. “My drugs are none of your business.” 

“Neither is my life and yet you seemed to have weaseled your way into that one, why are you so off-limits?” Neil asked with a biting tongue as he stood from the seat to face Andrew. With the man sitting on the higher level, they were eye-to-eye but there was absolutely nothing behind Andrew’s. It was almost scary if Neil had not seen far worse in his time. He was mainly just curious as to what would have to arise to give Andrew something so numbing or mania-inducing and make it legal. Curiouser and curiouser. Of course, he wasn’t going to admit that Andrew intrigued him because that would be giving in to the little game Andrew had created between the two of them. He would have to subdue the curiosity with his own observations because if he wanted anything to be told, he would have to tell in return and Neil wasn’t going to budge on that. He planned to give Andrew as little as possible of himself and nothing would get in the way of that -- it couldn’t. 

Andrew laughed at the sudden movement, tossing the still-lit cigarette on the slab of concrete the picnic table sat on before stomping it out. “Jump, rabbit, jump. Better keep those emotions in check because you seem to forget I have an ace up my sleeve,  _ Josten. _ ”

“Kill me, then, I don’t have much to live for.” It was a bluff, of course, it was a bluff. Sure, Neil had nothing to live for but for some reason, he couldn’t find it in him to wish for death. Self-preservation was a son of a bitch and Neil wished he knew why he was plagued by it especially when he noted the glimmer of excitement in Andrew’s glossy eyes as those words left his mouth. Clearly, the blond was enthralled by the idea and Neil’s mind flashed to a future where in the next ten seconds, roughly, Andrew procured a knife from his black sleeves and jammed it into Neil’s gut. It wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t felt before, but Andrew was something he had never handled before. He could calculate the next ten seconds, but what happened after that was void. 

He counted to ten; waited for the knife. Andrew didn’t move. Neil took a step back, a slow smile spreading across his face. “That’s what I thought. You’re too interested, is that it? You don’t want to kill me before you find out the truth about me, right? I bleed out on this hill and so do all the lies you’re convinced I’m spinning.” 

“Oh, you’ve got me all figured out, huh?” Andrew teased, but there was nothing there. The smile was empty, but something had returned to his eyes. A dare, maybe, but something was hanging onto every word Neil said and Neil knew that would be reflected in his own gaze. The man’s eyes met his for an extended amount of time, Neil almost forgot where they were or what the point of the conversation was. After a moment, Andrew spoke again. “You really should take out those contacts, brown doesn’t suit you.” 

Shit. Neil hadn’t been careful enough. How could he count on Andrew recognizing contacts? Most people couldn’t tell the difference unless they wore them themselves, but it was apparent that Andrew didn’t. 

Before he could speak again, Andrew beat him to it, “There, we’re even.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m on drugs, you wear contacts. Eye for an eye,” he explained, hopping off of the picnic table as he began to walk back over to the van. Neil followed him as he realized Nicky was motioning them back over so they could get back on the road. “All right, rabbit, let’s get this show on the road.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shorter than i wanted it to be but i got my point across so i am simply going to have to deal with it i suppose


End file.
